STARTING THE NEW YEAR A LITTLE EARLY!

  12/10/2014   WT: 263.4  Getting Back in the Swing of Things

Am re-committing to doing this blog.  I will make it a daily thing even if it's only a few lines.  

Am upset with myself because of my inconsistency.  Will commit to drinking my 8 glasses of water today PLUS no junk food consumed.  Baby steps.  After losing 53 pounds I pulled my old trick of reversing.  I am now at 40 pounds lost.  Up 13 - -  At least I am catching it now not later.  A little pat on the back.

Realize I am at the weight I was before I left for up north.  Interesting.  Time to get with my control that I know is workable.

Till Next Time.......

August 8,  2014    Struggling  Along

Seems I can follow a good food choices for one day in a row - then undo it by 2 or 3 days of many highysugar fat, loaded with sugar items.  No wonder it is taking me so long to come down in weight but at least the numbers on the scale are moving in the right direction.  Today I was extra hungry.  Could have been those 2 smoothie meals yesterday.  Can't do 2 smoothie meals in one day.  One now and then doesn't seem to throw me.  When I get the "I want more of that" thoughts, I know it is loaded with fat and sugar.... usually sugar for sure.  Interesting.  Was having dark chocolate yesterday thinking it was sugar free.  Had the "want more" thoughts plaguing my mind, and when checking the ingredients - sure enough 7 grams of sugar! Need to get sugar out of my daily food supply.  Next thing for me to work on seriously!

August 3, 2014    SUPER SUNDAY FULL WITH FAMILY 

Am having trouble staying with a program it seems.  Lost 3 pounds last month but I would sure like to lose more than that this month.  Lots have gone on these last weeks with my trying to settle in a new place - and now to have my operational living up to June brought to me, packaged, to go through and find a hoe for.... is overwhelming at times.  That could be fitting in to my struggle with food.  Will try to report more often and be accountable 

FIGURING  OUT A WORKABLE APPROACH

July 16, 2014            Need to Analyze My Road to Success

Sean Anderson wrote how his latest counseling session he co-anchors had him look at what he thought was in need to get more sleep and do better time organizing.  Turned out he was given            to think about and came up with needed small steps that could get him to bed earlier.  Start writing his blog earlier and adding to it throughout the day instead of just taking notes all day as thoughts hit.  That's an example.  Guess we need to change just a little behavior that will make a big difference in the long run.  I need to look at how I can feel physically food/taste satisfied earlier in the evening, perhaps right at dinnertime.

Another thing I realized is when I have a socialization date - the night before, I binge.  Thought it was the socializing but today realized it might be the driving and not knowing how to get there.  Today my GPS instilled new faith in it by getting me there.  I actually laughed out loud when I thought I was helplessly lost.  Usually I'm fighting tears as I do when not being able to find the dermatologist in FL  Driving somewhere I don't go often or that is complcated to get to  - - -  it upsets me.  I now though, after today am willing to try to find Great Cuts in Grafton, with my GPS.  There will not be socializing or a time limit added to the mix so I will not be stressed if it doesn't go smoothly.

Need to start doing a more healthy choice and consumation of food that I can get back to the scale numbers going down again.  I'm worth it - that's for sure.

Till Next Time.....

                         A   LITTLE   PROGRESS 

Did pretty well in the food choice dept. as I didn't sleep much all night long. 
Was moving slowly throughout the day as you might imagine.  Here it is very late again and I thought I'd FORCE myself to turn in early tonight.  Didn't happen.  Somehow I seem VERY AWAKE at night - what is this..... days and nights mixed as happens to babies?

Found that as the evening progresses even though I'm not feeling actual hunger, there is a push to snack on something late at night.  What is this?  Habit?  Overly tired and jut not recognizing it?  Too Hungry? Too Lonely?  Too Tired?  Too Angry?   Those are the sure losing weight journey breakers.

Better hit the hay - - - -  Till Next Time

                      Sitting in the Chair Sunday

July 13, 2014      Am upset with myself today.  Where did m resolution to try walking to J's today?  Just sat in the recliner and watched Oprah Super Soul Sunday segments.  Gathered and took notes of VERY good information from different interviews.  However, MY moving forward with my intentions were not met.  HAS to be better tomorrow!!!!!  Will not only get some movement in but will make better choices with food - no junk food at the end of the day.

Thinking about how good it was to be here and getting together at  & W's to celebrate their wedding anniversary.  Took balloons and cake to add the celebration atmosphere - but the best part was everyone conversing.  Communicating is important and even if everyone is in the same room that doesn't happen.

Till Next Time,
N~

            Unhappy With my FoodChoices Lately

July 12, 2014              Can't Seem to get Back on Track

Have to remember to not let myself get ~ 
         TOO HUNGRY, TOO TIRED, TOO LONELY OR TOO ANGRY 
Those are saboteurs of being in control and having the ability to see weight loss.

I can't seem to get this track going like I used to do.  I keep having a "no. 1 Day and Start" over and over again.  What is keeping me from making a solid commitment?  Am trying to get in touch with that.  This has been going on for a long time but the circumstances I am in at this time are rather new to the process so need to do examining of that.  Food and movement are to be looked at closely.  I will not give up!!!   I keep consoling myself with what I have done in the last year and the scale numbers are going in the right direction but you & I know that it is a drop in the bucket.  Like throwing a deck chair of an ocean liner.

Till next time ~ ~ ~

Am trying to learn how to get this blog to a spot where I like the looks of it but also filling in with areas that I want to keep track of all in one place - not in 20 different note books.

July 10, 2014         The Struggle Continues

This has been a lifetime struggle so what makes me think I can change things in a short time?  I am trying to remember not to get Too Hungry, Too Tired,  Too Angry or Too Lonely!  Those are disasters to being successful on this journey.  Another thing I have to remember is what a friend of mine reminded me I said a while back which was "treat what we are doing as maintenance - because that is what we are really doing."  None of this being on a diet that we then go "off" of down the line.  That is what I have actually been doing since I was 15 years old.  Time to change my method of attacking this overweight to obese problem.

Wt. Quote: "Whose voice do you hear reprimanding you for eating when you are not hungry?"  Geneen Roth  Breaking Free from Emotional Eating

7/9/2014     Discovering Instinctual Responses

After doing much soul searching about the reason for the "drug like NEED" for ice cream, decided it was anger feelings rolling around for 2 days, over being dictated to and manipulated to do something that I sort of feel I should do, but am not included in the decision making.   Made a "desperate" run to the store and purchased Edy's Double Churned for 120 cal. per 1/2 cup and also splurged even more - - - buying potato chips because they were on sale for $2.00.  Is that stinkin' thinkin' or what?  Was satisfied after about 1 cup (didn't measure) of the I.C. but munched quite a few chips.  The scale hit 260 this morning and it scared me because I've been in the 50's for a while.  My scale will show a different No. if I keep getting on over and over.  The one that showed up quite a few times was 256.4   Today is going to be thoughtful choosing of food.  Am counting cal. on my FitnessPal and am back in control.

May 12, 2014      Progress Being Made
WT: 264

Am feeling much better than I have in a long time.  Now if I could just get many days in a row like this - - - wow.  Finally remembered to turn the air cleaner on last night and had a marvelous nights' sleep.  That, plus I've been quite busy the last two days getting ready for the trip up north.  Have felt good about my progress with that.  As far as the 17 Day Plan for eating, I've been fooling around with that a bit - and using the "MyFitnessPal" tracker for my food intake.  Yesterday was the first day I show keeping a few cal. below the 1200 cal. I need to lose the weight I need to do.  DID have peanut butter & Nutella which I didn't measure - so actually may have gone over.  The ingredient high fat could have thrown everything else off too.

Was a bit put off at first when a friend said we should only contact each other once a week instead of daily as it looks like we are partners in cheating instead of helping each other with support to take this weight off.  She is right I realize - and am glad she did that.  Think I was ventilating more than anything else, which I have a tendency to do and need to stop.

Well, on with the day.  Will ck the 17 Day Plan dictate for today.  Maybe THAT is what I don't like... Hmmm  Anything dictating to me.  I am trying to do my weight loss journey this time with not as much rigid control - so I will be able to keep it up long term.  Am realizing at this point I don't like to be dictated to obviously, and will do things not exactly as they say.  Interesting.  Another character observation that could be feeding into my undoing.  People like me at first it seems but when I start showing my total self (which I do to everyone and need to pick and choose) - -  that's another story.

On with the day - - - - - - 

May 10, 2014    Day 13 of 17 Day Plan

Wt: 262.8   Had a good day yesterday with following the plan food choices and didn't take any naps during the day.  Went to bed at 9:30PM so of course was up a few times during the night, but still feel rested.  Am happy about yesterday not being as hard as the first few days of this Plan.  Have been cutting out Pasta, bread, bread products and junk food.  Think basically this will have to be how I eat after this.  A carb choice now and then perhaps can;t even be in my future.  That seems to start me down the road to high numbers and it is painful.  Don't need anymore pain in my life, especially if I am at the helm doing the choosing.

Expect to have another good day today.  Have 5 days to go to be at the end of the first 17 days of the plan.  I would like the scale to read 10 pounds down, but we'll see how it goes.  I will be satisfied being in the 50's.

Realized yesterday my choice of going to DeMarini's in 1971 and then telling L about it had to be as hurtful to him as his shenanigans with the union was to me.  Don't think the 1976 Marriage Encounter ever healed that portion of us as we never dealt with it.  

I have to be careful to not overload my problems on friends as I can see that is no good.  Penny let me know, VERY NICELY, that we should contact each other only once a week to report at least until I get to WI.  She is a great teacher.  It woke me up.  Will work on improving on that.  I talk too much and have to try to change that.  Not TRY - - -  I WILL change that.

Strength Dear Lord - give me Strength!

5/9/2014    IMPROVEMENT BUT NOT PERFECT

Wt: 265.0 

Had new idea to ask Rosemary if she would be willing to drive with me to MKE and she is!!!  The date is earlier than I had originally planned and That created all kinds of inner stress of course and I obviously hit what sweets were available by evening time.  Had been reasonable all day but in the evening had 3 EXTRA Weight Watcher ice cream bars and MUCH peanut butter and Nutello!  Have To be able to handle this stress and I will!  

Also had a new AHA this morning that in 1971 when I gained all this weight back originally - was not only the stress of Irene dying, Larry and the Union shenanigans but having the DeMarini fiasco.  I had a hard time believing I could not trust myself.  My incident was if not exactly a good match for Larry's.  I came to know I COULD trust myself but evidently not at a deep level.  That could be what is a BIG root to my weight problem.  1971 also saw me selling Diet Control and went into that depression just laying on the couch most of the day.  Took until 1979 for my leg to give out which was really the disc giving out in my back and needing back surgery.  1970-1980 was a hard decade for me.  People talk about a hard year - Geesh!!! How about a CATASTROPHIC DECADE.  Guess I need to work on those years and see what else I can root out.  Enough for today.

Stay Strong Nanci

May 7, 2014   9:00 A.M. Wt: 265.2

 Greatest Gift - Commitment!

The greatest gift we can give ourselves is a strong commitment!  I need to put that on my Mirror to see each morning and re-commit that THAT particular day is going to get me to where I am headed.  My ideal goal would be 170.  That may mean I will need to go to 160 because of the way my wt. fluctuates.  I think I am on the right path, even though I am not following the 17 Day Plan EXACTLY.  Perhaps that has been a major flaw.... wanting to follow the rules EXACTLY and when not doing that, throwing in the towel. Perhaps a complete "throw in" or maybe a little at a time, until I am headed for 300 pounds.  It is scary.  I know if I get this excess wt. off I will be MUCH more functional and feel better all the way around.  It is not a matter of choosing unhealthy (sugar and high/bad fat) over healthy food.  I know I can do SO much more in my daily life than I am able to do at present.  Have been making good decisions but have let some of the bigger ones throw me.  That has nothing to do with weight.  I need to stand up to what I can do.  Looks like I may be going to MKE for June, July, August and Sept and get the house on the market next season.  I will be working primarily in the next month toward closing the house down with some packing toward the sale/move.  Need to figure out the $ cost of keeping both places for another year.  I know I can do it but would it be wise to go that route.  Probably.  I cannot buy a place like I have here for the dollars I will get for it.  Having this for me during the cold months with the MKE condo for the summer is ideal.  Time to get into my day.  

Think the AHA at this point today was realizing how the "Staff Sergeant" approach, attitude may be what has been my undoing so far with my weight. Every time I have come down to goal, it has been all or nothing.  This time I am taking it a little softer, having more patience with how I stumble.  Hmm

May 7, 2014       Moving along on the Journey

It's a never ending LEARNING EXPERIENCE and must live the journey.  Am not putting an end date on it because this will have to carry me through. No more losing weight only to gain it again.  Have fallen and CAN get up.  Each of these days that are less than perfect I will no longer call failures - as they are learning experiences.  I am sure a slow learner.  Have to fact the fact that I have trouble with portion control.  

On some days my skin feels like it's burning as I wake up.  Wonder if that is the nerves reacting because of all the gains and losses?  My poor skin (which is the largest organ of the body) has been put through the mill over the years.  Need to take special care of it - that's for sure.

Looking ahead to a great day.  I am choosing Diet Control plan over the 17 Day Plan.  If I leave out all the "junk food" binging or even just normal consuming in the evening,  I should drop pounds.  Limiting carbs and getting as close as possible to eliminating sugar is the answer.

Strength!

May 2, 2014       Hanging In There

Did well until late tonight.... then hit the pretzels,  peanuts, and ice cream.  Hope that didn't undo all the good I did with the rest of my food choices.   Felt really good today about getting things done and made it all over the yard telling the yard helper what I wanted done out there.  Did end up falling deeply asleep in the chair in the afternoon, and that made me want to stay up later.  Had a wonderful night's sleep last night and hope it happens again tonight.  Makes a world of difference in the next day.

May 1, 2014            Day 4 of the 17 Day Eating Plan

Wt: 263.4     
Day 4 ~    The above is what I am re-labeling "The 17 Day Diet" because of the connotation the word diet now has for me.

So far this is working for me.  Hope to show more progress on the scale tomorrow.  I have been feeling full so far, which turns off the constant thinking about food.  That may be the secret to being successful.

Changed the bed yesterday and did a few other things on my list that have been there a while.  Feel good about that.  Am feeling guilty about not being in a hurry to get this house sold.  I think part of it is I KNOW what I have here and know I can afford it.  Also I can handle the weather and am not absolutely locked inside with eating on my brain all winter.  The traveling for the coldest months to spend in FL may not be affordable when freezing in MKE.  So far having my own place to go to in MKE is affordable as long as I am still in charge of it.  We'll see how that goes.  It will be one year this August.  That will tell a lot.  Must quit talking to everyone about selling FL even though that is on my mind.  Removing some stress from everyday living is the answer for me to have all around success.  I will work toward that end.

April 30, 2914               Day 3 of the 17 Day Diet

Wt: 263.6  

Had a good day yesterday - felt full and didn't have a struggle with wanting to snack.  Was surprised by the scale as I didn't "feel" I lost any weight.  I usually am very aware of even losing water weight.  Am pleasantly surprised.  The emphasis on green tea and yogurt (probiotic foods too) is a good thing.  Have been a little gassy but I suppose the body is getting used to a new (better) group of foods.

Need to be more active and will see if I can't work that into my day, making it a priority along with this journaling.  Little by little this better get me to a spot where this excess is coming off for the last time.  
NO MORE YO-YO ing !!!!!!!

April 29, 2014   BACK ON THE JOURNEY TO A HEALTHY WEIGHT

April 28: 267   Day 1
            29: 266.6   Day 2

Started the 17 Day Diet with the "shake cleanse day" to start.  My body was not happy with it and my stomach felt queesy.   Decided to have  a boiled egg, 1/2 100 cal. bun, and a tangello.  That took care of it for the rest of the night but slept restlessly.  Don't know if that was due to what I ate or not.  

Today (Day 2) so far is great - had a boiled egg and 1/2 100 cal. bun for BR. and a 2 egg white Gillette w/salsa.  Actually the rules of the 17 Day Diet are the way I've been eating when not diving into junk food.  If this brings me down 10 pounds, that would be wonderful. 

Will have chicken and vegetables for dinner and a small yogurt for a snack. 

Will stay strong!