Monday, May 12, 2014

May 12, 2014      Progress Being Made
WT: 264

Am feeling much better than I have in a long time.  Now if I could just get many days in a row like this - - - wow.  Finally remembered to turn the air cleaner on last night and had a marvelous nights' sleep.  That, plus I've been quite busy the last two days getting ready for the trip up north.  Have felt good about my progress with that.  As far as the 17 Day Plan for eating, I've been fooling around with that a bit - and using the "MyFitnessPal" tracker for my food intake.  Yesterday was the first day I show keeping a few cal. below the 1200 cal. I need to lose the weight I need to do.  DID have peanut butter & Nutella which I didn't measure - so actually may have gone over.  The ingredient high fat could have thrown everything else off too.

Was a bit put off at first when a friend said we should only contact each other once a week instead of daily as it looks like we are partners in cheating instead of helping each other with support to take this weight off.  She is right I realize - and am glad she did that.  Think I was ventilating more than anything else, which I have a tendency to do and need to stop.

Well, on with the day.  Will ck the 17 Day Plan dictate for today.  Maybe THAT is what I don't like... Hmmm  Anything dictating to me.  I am trying to do my weight loss journey this time with not as much rigid control - so I will be able to keep it up long term.  Am realizing at this point I don't like to be dictated to obviously, and will do things not exactly as they say.  Interesting.  Another character observation that could be feeding into my undoing.  People like me at first it seems but when I start showing my total self (which I do to everyone and need to pick and choose) - -  that's another story.

On with the day - - - - - - 

Saturday, May 10, 2014

May 10, 2014    Day 13 of 17 Day Plan

Wt: 262.8   Had a good day yesterday with following the plan food choices and didn't take any naps during the day.  Went to bed at 9:30PM so of course was up a few times during the night, but still feel rested.  Am happy about yesterday not being as hard as the first few days of this Plan.  Have been cutting out Pasta, bread, bread products and junk food.  Think basically this will have to be how I eat after this.  A carb choice now and then perhaps can;t even be in my future.  That seems to start me down the road to high numbers and it is painful.  Don't need anymore pain in my life, especially if I am at the helm doing the choosing.

Expect to have another good day today.  Have 5 days to go to be at the end of the first 17 days of the plan.  I would like the scale to read 10 pounds down, but we'll see how it goes.  I will be satisfied being in the 50's.

Realized yesterday my choice of going to DeMarini's in 1971 and then telling L about it had to be as hurtful to him as his shenanigans with the union was to me.  Don't think the 1976 Marriage Encounter ever healed that portion of us as we never dealt with it.  

I have to be careful to not overload my problems on friends as I can see that is no good.  Penny let me know, VERY NICELY, that we should contact each other only once a week to report at least until I get to WI.  She is a great teacher.  It woke me up.  Will work on improving on that.  I talk too much and have to try to change that.  Not TRY - - -  I WILL change that.

Strength Dear Lord - give me Strength!

Friday, May 9, 2014


Wt: 265.0 

Had new idea to ask Rosemary if she would be willing to drive with me to MKE and she is!!!  The date is earlier than I had originally planned and That created all kinds of inner stress of course and I obviously hit what sweets were available by evening time.  Had been reasonable all day but in the evening had 3 EXTRA Weight Watcher ice cream bars and MUCH peanut butter and Nutello!  Have To be able to handle this stress and I will!  

Also had a new AHA this morning that in 1971 when I gained all this weight back originally - was not only the stress of Irene dying, Larry and the Union shenanigans but having the DeMarini fiasco.  I had a hard time believing I could not trust myself.  My incident was if not exactly a good match for Larry's.  I came to know I COULD trust myself but evidently not at a deep level.  That could be what is a BIG root to my weight problem.  1971 also saw me selling Diet Control and went into that depression just laying on the couch most of the day.  Took until 1979 for my leg to give out which was really the disc giving out in my back and needing back surgery.  1970-1980 was a hard decade for me.  People talk about a hard year - Geesh!!! How about a CATASTROPHIC DECADE.  Guess I need to work on those years and see what else I can root out.  Enough for today.

Stay Strong Nanci

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

May 7, 2014   9:00 A.M. Wt: 265.2

 Greatest Gift - Commitment!

The greatest gift we can give ourselves is a strong commitment!  I need to put that on my Mirror to see each morning and re-commit that THAT particular day is going to get me to where I am headed.  My ideal goal would be 170.  That may mean I will need to go to 160 because of the way my wt. fluctuates.  I think I am on the right path, even though I am not following the 17 Day Plan EXACTLY.  Perhaps that has been a major flaw.... wanting to follow the rules EXACTLY and when not doing that, throwing in the towel. Perhaps a complete "throw in" or maybe a little at a time, until I am headed for 300 pounds.  It is scary.  I know if I get this excess wt. off I will be MUCH more functional and feel better all the way around.  It is not a matter of choosing unhealthy (sugar and high/bad fat) over healthy food.  I know I can do SO much more in my daily life than I am able to do at present.  Have been making good decisions but have let some of the bigger ones throw me.  That has nothing to do with weight.  I need to stand up to what I can do.  Looks like I may be going to MKE for June, July, August and Sept and get the house on the market next season.  I will be working primarily in the next month toward closing the house down with some packing toward the sale/move.  Need to figure out the $ cost of keeping both places for another year.  I know I can do it but would it be wise to go that route.  Probably.  I cannot buy a place like I have here for the dollars I will get for it.  Having this for me during the cold months with the MKE condo for the summer is ideal.  Time to get into my day.  

Think the AHA at this point today was realizing how the "Staff Sergeant" approach, attitude may be what has been my undoing so far with my weight. Every time I have come down to goal, it has been all or nothing.  This time I am taking it a little softer, having more patience with how I stumble.  Hmm

Monday, May 5, 2014

May 7, 2014       Moving along on the Journey

It's a never ending LEARNING EXPERIENCE and must live the journey.  Am not putting an end date on it because this will have to carry me through. No more losing weight only to gain it again.  Have fallen and CAN get up.  Each of these days that are less than perfect I will no longer call failures - as they are learning experiences.  I am sure a slow learner.  Have to fact the fact that I have trouble with portion control.  

On some days my skin feels like it's burning as I wake up.  Wonder if that is the nerves reacting because of all the gains and losses?  My poor skin (which is the largest organ of the body) has been put through the mill over the years.  Need to take special care of it - that's for sure.

Looking ahead to a great day.  I am choosing Diet Control plan over the 17 Day Plan.  If I leave out all the "junk food" binging or even just normal consuming in the evening,  I should drop pounds.  Limiting carbs and getting as close as possible to eliminating sugar is the answer.


Friday, May 2, 2014

May 2, 2014       Hanging In There

Did well until late tonight.... then hit the pretzels,  peanuts, and ice cream.  Hope that didn't undo all the good I did with the rest of my food choices.   Felt really good today about getting things done and made it all over the yard telling the yard helper what I wanted done out there.  Did end up falling deeply asleep in the chair in the afternoon, and that made me want to stay up later.  Had a wonderful night's sleep last night and hope it happens again tonight.  Makes a world of difference in the next day.

Thursday, May 1, 2014

May 1, 2014            Day 4 of the 17 Day Eating Plan

Wt: 263.4     
Day 4 ~    The above is what I am re-labeling "The 17 Day Diet" because of the connotation the word diet now has for me.

So far this is working for me.  Hope to show more progress on the scale tomorrow.  I have been feeling full so far, which turns off the constant thinking about food.  That may be the secret to being successful.

Changed the bed yesterday and did a few other things on my list that have been there a while.  Feel good about that.  Am feeling guilty about not being in a hurry to get this house sold.  I think part of it is I KNOW what I have here and know I can afford it.  Also I can handle the weather and am not absolutely locked inside with eating on my brain all winter.  The traveling for the coldest months to spend in FL may not be affordable when freezing in MKE.  So far having my own place to go to in MKE is affordable as long as I am still in charge of it.  We'll see how that goes.  It will be one year this August.  That will tell a lot.  Must quit talking to everyone about selling FL even though that is on my mind.  Removing some stress from everyday living is the answer for me to have all around success.  I will work toward that end.